


Thunder and Rain

by TheBarghestsNotebook



Series: A Child Who Is Both [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Genderqueer Character, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 07:50:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBarghestsNotebook/pseuds/TheBarghestsNotebook
Summary: The Reader is Thor's girlfriend, but they don't feel like his girlfriend today. It's not that there's a problem with their relationship, there's just a problem with the "girl" part.





	Thunder and Rain

**Author's Note:**

> I am genderfluid and I've been struggling with gender dyshporia for a while as well as being afraid to talk to close friends and family about my identity. I wanted to write something that would help me explore it through writing and I figured that Thor and Loki would be a good helpers.

It was always that same sinking feeling in my stomach when I was about to do something scary. Always that same clenching of my heart that made me not want to breathe. That same coldness in my arms that made me think my blood that stopped pumping. My fingers fiddled with my overly large shirt that didn’t even belong to me. It was Thor’s and it engulfed me in fabric and made it impossible to see my figure. Which was what I wanted. I wanted my body to be hidden so bad. It was one of those days where I couldn’t bear to look at it. I couldn’t bear to look at my belly, at my thighs, least of all my breasts. The knowledge that I had them was awful. The fact that I didn’t have anything between my legs was worse. It was such a hard day to look at myself.

  
And a harder day to hear Thor call me his girlfriend. Because I didn’t feel like his girlfriend. I didn’t feel like a girl. I wasn’t a girl. Not today. And I knew I had to tell him. My heart broke every time he called me by my girl name. I couldn’t keep stressing myself out over it. But that didn’t stop me from being so stressed about it now.  
I took a breath and tried to not throw up. My toes curled on the floor as I danced from foot to foot, trying to gain the courage to leave the bedroom and talk to the love of my life about how I felt and who I was.

  
It took so long for me to finally pad out of that room, down the hallway, and into the living room. He was sitting on the couch, reading a book, feet propped up on the coffee table, dressed in his favorite human clothes.

  
My throat was raw and it was so hard to open my mouth.

  
Today had to be the day.

  
“Thor?”

  
“Yes?” he asked, looking up at me. He was so sweet, always giving me his focus when I spoke to him. His brow furrowed, “Are you okay? You seem troubled.”  
He was so perceptive, a lot of people didn’t give him credit for that.

  
“I am, actually,” I said, forcing myself to take a step forward. And then another. And then I was walking towards him to sit down next to him.  
“What’s wrong?”

  
“Thor…” it always seemed so much easier at other times. So much easier in my head. Just tell him, it couldn’t be that hard. It couldn’t be that hard at all. He loved me, so he would accept me. I just had to tell him. “I’m...not a girl today.”

  
He blinked and then nodded. “Okay. You’re my boyfriend.”

  
My heart almost exploded out of...surprise?

  
“You’re...okay with that? Just like that?”

  
He put the bookmark in between the pages and put the novel down on the table. “Of course I am. You switching between genders isn’t something strange to me.” He smiled, taking my hand. “You see, my brother, Loki, does the same thing. Sometimes he is a she and is my sister.”

  
I nodded slowly. “Oh...I mean...I knew about the story about Loki having Slephnir...but I didn’t think that he...she...they?”

  
“The last time I spoke to my brother, he was my brother. He tends to correct me whenever I misgender him, so,” he shrugs and his smile widens, “please do the same. I don’t want hurt you.”

  
It was getting hard to see him. My eyes were stinging through the tears starting to building up there. He reached out and pulled me close to him.

  
“It’s okay, men can cry too.”


End file.
